Dear Mugmash

Dear Mugmash,
Your name came to me in a dream, and a few weeks after Ramadan you started visiting. You were my Ramadan miracle, a heaven sent angel. I’ve never had a gift like you.
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
Your head smells like boiled pasta, the little part between your ears and the top of your head is my favourite place in the world.
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
I haven’t seen you today. Your little voice is my favourite sound, when you’re meowing at the door. Or scratching at it to try and to open it. The other day you meowed at my window and I saw your little lion body waiting. The way you squeeze yourself from the window inside, it's my greatest joy.
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
There’s tension in the house because of my love for you. Others say you don't belong to us, and we should set boundaries, But Mugs, how can soulmates have boundaries around packets of dreamies?
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
I love the sound you make when I pick you up, it sounds like a question. I wish I could hold you forever.
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
The way you appear at the sound of a shaken dreamies bag softens my heart. I got told off for calling you like this. Alas, we can’t love each other in the way we want to.
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
Today I printed off a photo of us, and framed it on my desk. We both look happy and in love. We both look like we’ve found a home in each other's lives. It warms my heart on days you’re not here.
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
I find it hard to draw you, I wish I could draw you. Your fluffy little feet, and pointy little face.
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
We’re looking to adopt a cat of our own, I know you have your own family and we can't be together in the way that we want to, but I still feel like I'm betraying you. It might not happen, and I can't think of anything more joyous than us spending our lives in passing, visiting each other in stolen moments. You can steal all my time Mugs.
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
Sometimes your voice sounds like a little bird. Sometimes your purr sounds like a car engine.
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
When you are with me its like the loudness of the world turns off, like the insistent background buzzing noise of life and world is no longer there. It's just a pool of milky silence, I want to swim in that silence with you forever
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
You were sleeping on my desk chair, and I have a meeting in 10 mins. So I just picked you up and put you on my bed to sleep. The chair is still warm from you, I wish I could live in your warmth. I hope you sleep well on my bed.
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
I’ve never met anyone one like you. It breaks my heart that we might no longer see each other in the same way.
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
Why are you so beautiful?
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
Your little face pressed against my window, calling my name. I love you. With all my heart I love you and your voice. I’m not allowed to open the window for you anymore. I closed my door and waited outside because I can still hear you calling for me.
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
The thought of you outside in the cold. Mugmash, I hope you know: I'm so glad we met. My Mugs. I know we may not be able to be together in this life but Muggeroo, it’d be the greatest joy if I could spend all of the next one all with you instead.
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
I don't know how to leave you. The cat that will legally be ours arrives today. I don't know who she will be, I will try to love her like I love you, and treat her in the same way I treat you. Overtime she might foster the same kindness and softness that radiates from your being. But you will always be my angel, my gift, the light of my life and pure joy.
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
I am writing to you twice today, I can't stop thinking about you. My heart hurts knowing we can’t let you in in case the new cat gets anxious. It hurts my heart knowing we can't be together. I wonder if you know? I wonder if you feel the same loss. How can anyone hold a space in my heart after you?
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
Thinking about the new cat, the legal cat. Her long fur in the photos reminds me of you. I will try to love her but this love is a different love. She is a cat that belongs to the house. She isn't a cat belongs to me, not like you do. For us, legally we may belong to another, but spirtually we are each other. You belong to my heart.
I love you.

Dear Mugmash,
I was thinking if you die, your owners won’t know how special you are to me, and won’t give me any of your ashes. So maybe if I see you again, if our paths cross outside. I can cut off some of your fluff and put in the necklace so a part of you can be with me forever. I wish so much that I could give you a dreamies that would last forever to remember me by.
I love you.